Thursday, 15 September 2011

Sweet Jesus, make me a man.

Hier soir, I was minding my own business shopping in the local centre commercial (i've decided that speaking French creates a certain aura of sophistication... it's a phase. It will pass)when I saw a couple holding hands. Literally, just that. And, I suddenly began to sob like a baby. Actual tears gushed from my eyeballs. Absolutely mortified, I ran into the local coffee shop to have a good old brew and I bought a massive piece of cake to compensate for my sudden loneliness. As I sat down, fucking couples were everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Was it a September Valentines day yesterday? No. Is it a romantic month? No. THEN FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU

Yes, I'm slightly bitter. Where the fuck is my 'prince of my labia' in the famous words of Samantha from STC. But, I'm not usually THIS pathetic. I was absolutely mortified at not only my sudden hate for every lovedup.duo around me, but also at the fact that I was sobbing like a lost monkey. The ordeal then continued when I sat lonely with my brew and spilt the jug of milk all over my cake. 

So, there I was. Lonely and bitter with a soggy piece of cake and panda eyes. Even my worst nightmare would have felt some form of pity for me. I couldn't understand for the life of me why I was sobbing so incessantly. There was absolutely no reason. I see couples all the time. Yes, I am (horribly) single but c'est la vie, no need to blub.

This morning I wake angrily and it dawns on me.... it was my hormones. And I spend the best part of my morning cursing my sexuality. My behaviour generally confuses me. 

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