tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40059922368177613392024-03-05T17:52:06.210-08:00Tales of Penny LanePenny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-83829608873239287772011-11-04T14:52:00.000-07:002011-11-04T14:52:32.445-07:00Luck of the....Penny<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;">I have just realised <b>WHY </b>I'm so unlucky in love. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;"><b>Mirrors. </b>Not only do the bastards remind me of my terrifying morning look, they are also in my way too often. For example, a couple of weeks back I </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;">casually knocked my extra large mirror over and it smashed... in dramatic fashion.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;">And I slowly began to discover how the prophecy of bad luck was indeed <b>factual</b>. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;">By 3pm that day, I had already missed a seminar, walked into a tree and then proceeded to be unveiled in the changing room by a 2 year old boy who started announcing 'NAKED GIRL NAKED GIRL'....</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;">Delightful. Bastard mirrors. </span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-7599150766004376522011-11-04T14:45:00.000-07:002011-11-04T14:45:17.374-07:00Apologies…..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOWxxOzKosnpKnH83qdqCin4Mfs6hNzMUYU9jnXXmgv4IKO9TSfKMSJ11jWkcbwPg2GFLmXf2qkBSsTLSnnFzWX-CymtQ-Apz3E2aQq00djI4LvX4Pp5Y06LKvHx192ZlyzQHoUbH56ZJb/s1600/IMG_7085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOWxxOzKosnpKnH83qdqCin4Mfs6hNzMUYU9jnXXmgv4IKO9TSfKMSJ11jWkcbwPg2GFLmXf2qkBSsTLSnnFzWX-CymtQ-Apz3E2aQq00djI4LvX4Pp5Y06LKvHx192ZlyzQHoUbH56ZJb/s320/IMG_7085.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="font: 12.0px 'Times New Roman'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 15.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Bon nuit mes amours. Oui oui, desole desole. I have re-located to gay Paris and my my, it’s very very gay. Currently longing for my own boudoir en Angleterre but I shall get over it and just write some posts. <b></b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Alors. Life has been busy. Apart from the usual shite that goes on in my day to day living, and the frequent moments of je-ne-sais-quoi that equal my life, I am rather enjoying Paris. Yes, I still bump into awkward strangers and attract the most peculiar of men, but alas, I feel very Parisien and am slowly finding my feet. I have decided that I want to ooze culture asap and sprout off quotes from Voltaire’s tales or a Moliere script. Give me time. I will be a culture queen with a passion for French men and coffee in NO time. </span></div><div><br />
</div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-21013752641101293912011-11-04T14:42:00.000-07:002011-11-04T14:42:01.437-07:00A mature cheese or a fresh egg?<div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRcuUgXaOPdxusRfX3RdWwp7GxGzKyfCSoqpgb4-jDr7YG9OzQEwglZWw9ERz3kSFBV-OnnGRweFwrsLz40o3pjlo-hYUA8yKJvQc1fmyMDyxhHX8CjNZaOLozGSNtsnf4B9gDifijKg_Z/s1600/article-2057395-0EA8724900000578-999_468x308.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRcuUgXaOPdxusRfX3RdWwp7GxGzKyfCSoqpgb4-jDr7YG9OzQEwglZWw9ERz3kSFBV-OnnGRweFwrsLz40o3pjlo-hYUA8yKJvQc1fmyMDyxhHX8CjNZaOLozGSNtsnf4B9gDifijKg_Z/s320/article-2057395-0EA8724900000578-999_468x308.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Last week, I had an epiphany. What is this new culture where beautiful women are obsessed with having a toy-boy? I used to believe entirely in ‘feeling young and footloose’ but news of Ashton Kutcher broke my heart and confirmed one fact to me: toy-boys suck ass. Ashton, a very handsome boy, marries a rather Goddess-like (if a little botoxed up) Demi Moore… and finds a younger ‘thing’ within a couple of years. Gah. Toyboys, I repeat, suck ass. This was the conclusion I came to last week and I set about trying to find a man who would ooze maturity and just be so delicious, I’d be rendered speechless every time he came near…. like a good cheese or a beautiful wine. (on that note, I tried Camembert yesterday. Orgasmic to say the least….who needs men when you have cheese?)</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Anyway, in a fortnight, I have found myself in three compromising and totally mysterious situations…all with older men. First, I was caught off guard by no other than the King of Older Men, Monsieur George Clooney. And, for the record, I wasn’t smooth and he is by far one of the most handsome men I have ever seen and I was unbelievably overwhelmed and wanted to jump on him and just let him have his wicked way with me there and then and and and</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Breathe</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Sigh</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px 'Times New Roman'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 15.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Seeing him reignited my determination to find this ‘perfect, charismatic older man’. Preferably A George Clooney, but I am prepared to settle for something a litttttle less fabulous. Begrudgingly. I was definitely the most shameful member of the crowd at his premiere shouting ‘GEORGE! GEORGE!’, amongst the cream of Parisienne cinematographers and normal human beings. But it was George Clooney for Christ’s sake! My behaviour was totally excusable. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Cough.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">One soiree avec mes amis, I found myself talking to a taxi driver enroute to my petite boudoir. I told him I loved Paris, the city of love. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">This comment OBVIOUSLY meant that Joel from Haiti wanted MY love. He was so persistent in getting my number, and I just couldn’t for the life of me give him a fake one. I know that apparently giving a fake number is a skill learnt at the age of 16, but after receiving more attention from my own dog than boys at that age, I have not developed any of those…’skills’. My conscience just plays such a massive part. So instead, after about 8 minutes of rambling in which time he had turned off the engine and parked up at the side, I took his number. As I left the taxi fairly swiftly, he told me he’d wait for my call. Alas, I fear my romance with Joel from Haiti, aged about 45…. is not to be. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I wasn’t going to suddenly start thinking that Paris was not the city of love after just that experience. I still had faith. One must give cities a chance. After the next incident, I fear Paris needs a couple of chances. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I was on the RER at a God forsaken hour catching an early morning flight. Sans make up with about 3 hours of sleep to my name and a puffy face that would compete with a hamster, I sat on the train reading my book totally minding my own business. I feel that however unladylike this may sound, it must be said to really emphasise the context and my mood at that time: I had seriously bad wind. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">And <b>then</b> this man appeared on the seat next to me and for the next 40 minutes, he sat on his iPhone talking to ‘Azhib’ and staring at my breasts. This was not at all subtle in that he had to turn his head to the left to stare at them. I was uncomfortable, but in Paris I have grown accustomed to random staring at the mammary glands. I feel like Nepal Buddhist tour guides prepared me for that: Parisian perverts<b>, BRING IT ON</b>. But, this man was a lot older than my own father and of North African descent and I thought that he’d just give up after a while. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">But, <b>NO</b>. He clearly wanted his early morning fix. Eurgh.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">When his stop was coming up (Aulunay Sous Bois for future reference) he tried to get my attention and got a piece of paper and a pencil out of his bag and ‘romantically’ left me his number on the seat. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>I died.</b> Mortified. I had to text my mother I was that shocked. I thought after ‘is this what it has come to?!’ Because, Paris being the city of love seems to be a myth right now. I came to the conclusion that day that an older man was definitely not worth it. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Then, tonight happened. Nothing exciting, don’t get your self too excited. I was catching up on 90210 and Annie, this awkward character meets an older man who is just dreamy. I’m sat here now sipping on my brew whilst Paris dances the night away and I’m listening to the classical song from Love Actually. My conclusion of ‘no older men’ has just gone out the window, but so has my ‘no toy boy’ rule. I feel that age should be limitless. I know what I love, and that’s charisma and humour, age is just a number. Of course, if George Clooney adored me, I’d be completely ok with that. Similarly, if the curly haired one from One Direction felt an instant connection with me, I’d be just as ok about that. I feel I must be more open-minded if I really want to find that Monsieur Correctamundo.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">On the plus side, no pervs hassled me enroute back into Paris. So, all is not lost. Perhaps this really IS the city of love?! Or, maybe I was on the ‘lucky’ train. Anyway, demain I will open my eyes to the world of possibilities and embrace what lies ahead in true British style. And besides, who needs men when you have cheese, wine and fresh bread? </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Cambria; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I am Britist; I am fabulous; I have a great rack and I love my red lipstick: practically dynamite. Pass me the Camembert, get me a brew and I'm off to embrace the most important thing in my world....my beauty sleep <i>obviously.</i> </span></div><div><br />
</div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-15474224649673546732011-09-26T15:21:00.000-07:002011-10-06T13:15:25.674-07:00Boxercise, Schmoxercise<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">When my flatmate and I heard about a local boxercise class, images of bodies like Rosie Huttington- Whitely sprung to our minds <b>promptly</b> leading us to book in for the soonest class. After turning up 10 minutes late to lots of agro from the <i>(arsey)</i>trainer we joined everyone else in a punishing hour of, well, <i>punching</i>….and <b>more</b> <i>punching</i>…finished off with just a couple more <u>punches</u>. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My body was crying 'FUCK' for the entire time.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">What was once a wonderful idea soon became something else; to cut it short lets just say we aren’t feeling that <s>wonderful</s> <i>movable</i> by the end. I had to MAKE my friends buy me cake just so that I could function in an orderly manner because I can't actually PHYSICALLY move my arms.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> I now understand why Amir Khan has <u>SUCH</u> a great body. Punches = a Wolverine-esque appearance/Miranda Kerr bod.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Saying this, it is doubtful that i will be going back. Even though there is something rather calming about the whole ordeal, you know, the feeling that of punching your partner with the pads on, imagining it is an ex-boyfriend you would quite happily beat the crap out of given the chance.... I value 'moving', something i just haven't been able to do...for about 3 days now. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Must dash, I hear my name being called...'Miranda Kerr!' 'Miranda Kerr'.... ish. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><o:p></o:p></div></div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-29299775972208547712011-09-15T16:54:00.000-07:002011-09-15T16:54:33.668-07:00Sweet Jesus, make me a man.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtrNtyrCMbhsYgueC7ysGhshZtm6mYeNFYTzuRyaFf9Y2sIGvmNj0UJ2EvGhGCxX3HSzGvLRGwHhxoIWsRZRynkZMvNVwem92pHHI79LHfOwG09yv4Zi_jGp5SybvRTjt84E_6RVoHB9AD/s1600/5980310664_f599b53138_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtrNtyrCMbhsYgueC7ysGhshZtm6mYeNFYTzuRyaFf9Y2sIGvmNj0UJ2EvGhGCxX3HSzGvLRGwHhxoIWsRZRynkZMvNVwem92pHHI79LHfOwG09yv4Zi_jGp5SybvRTjt84E_6RVoHB9AD/s320/5980310664_f599b53138_o.jpg" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Hier soir, I was minding my own business shopping in the local centre commercial (i've decided that speaking French creates a certain <b>aura</b> of <i>sophistication... i</i>t's a phase. It will pass)when I saw a couple holding hands. Literally, <b>just </b>that. And, I suddenly began to sob like a baby. Actual tears <i>gushed </i>from my eyeballs. Absolutely mortified, I ran into the local coffee shop to have a good old brew and I bought a <b>massive </b>piece of cake to compensate for my sudden loneliness. As I sat down, <b>fucking couples </b>were everywhere. <u><b>EVERYWHERE</b></u>. Was it a September Valentines day yesterday? No. Is it a romantic month? No. <u>THEN FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU</u>. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yes, I'm slightly bitter. Where the fuck is my 'prince of my labia' in the famous words of Samantha from STC. But, I'm not usually <b>THIS </b>pathetic. I was absolutely mortified at not only my sudden hate for every lovedup.duo around me, but also at the fact that I was sobbing like a lost monkey. The ordeal then continued when I sat lonely with my brew and spilt the jug of milk <b>all over</b> my cake. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So, there I was. Lonely and bitter with a soggy piece of cake and panda eyes. Even my worst nightmare would have felt some form of pity for me. I couldn't understand for the life of me why I was sobbing so incessantly. There was absolutely <b>no</b> reason. I see couples all the time. Yes, I am (horribly) single but c'est la vie, no need to blub.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">This morning I wake angrily and it dawns on me.... it was my hormones. And I spend the best part of my morning cursing my sexuality. My behaviour </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>generally</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> confuses me. </span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-19149267950441916422011-09-15T15:59:00.001-07:002011-09-15T16:27:56.964-07:00An Unloved Looney.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Needless to say that after yesterday's ordeal, my parents were <b>NOT</b> in my good books. My mother especially, because she generally drives me <b>loca</b>/up the wall/<i><u>fucking crazy.</u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> I asked her to pick me up today from town, sharing a car with your entire family can sometimes send you into a mental lockdown. <b>So. </b>I walked, but fuck me, I needed a lift back. Too much walking = excessive chaff-age. </span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br />
</span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm going to say that after <b>an hour</b>, she <b>STILL </b>hadn't turned up. Very, very late. I was a little (<i>ok a lot) </i>pissed off. When I finally saw the car heading towards me <b>ever so bloody slowly </b>(the cheek!), I <b><u>naturally</u></b> stormed into the middle of the road, blocking her and flailing my arms angrily to emphasise my <i>pissedoffness. </i>Rightly so. <i> </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Mid-tantrum, it suddenly dawned on me that this car...was NOT my car and that a poor innocent family were staring at me, frozen to their seats clearly wondering which mental hospital I had just escaped from. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">And then mum calls to say she's forgotten about me. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">An unloved looney. Marvellous. </span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-60498765136968913262011-09-14T08:24:00.000-07:002011-09-14T08:24:59.013-07:00Afternoon Nap= Error.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Autumn leaves are falling and I can feel the air getting HEAVY. Hence my regular decisions to fall asleep at about 2.30pm daily. I <b>adore </b>to sleep in the nudders whilst the wind attacks my bedroom window, and I'm protected by my <i>trusted </i>teddy, knowing full well that when I wake, I can prepare my dinner without having to wait hours. Bliss. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">This very afternoon, I decided to take a nap. I was disturbed by the phone ringing; I'd forgotten I was meeting a friend at exactly <b>that </b>time. SHITE. So, I ran to bathroom whilst on the phone to her, apologising profusely, <b>completely naked, </b>and then <b>fuck. </b>The alarm goes off. My parents (yes, i still live at home) clearly didn't hear me so presumed i was elsewhere. I don't know the code. <b>Fuck shit tit balls bollocks. </b>I'm panicking downstairs, blackberry in one hand pressed to my ear, other hand preoccupied with the alarm box....<b>still naked. </b>Then, that awful moment when the doorbell rings and the <b>over-protective</b> neighbours are peeking through the windows in the kitchen, doing their 'bit' for the community.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">And I'm <b>STILL </b>naked. </span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-83112885462227216242011-07-29T20:04:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:21:20.084-07:00Sleepy....story time?<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large; line-height: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">So, I don't know if I'm incredibly innocent, naive or downright stupid, <i><u>probably all three</u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> but this evening, I <b>just </b>couldn't sleep. So, I thought I'd search on my phone for an adult night time story to read. </span></i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br />
</span></i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">'<b>Free Erotic Sex Tales' </b>was <b><u>NOT</u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> what I was after. </span></b></span></i></span></span></div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-10107387237515769862011-07-29T19:58:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:21:06.250-07:00Spotted.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Too many people have revealed to me that they did indeed spot me and my breasts in the long outdoor queue for the sweet shop yesterday. And yes, I</span><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> was</span></u></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> the only adult. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Fuckers. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-70384580682928400722011-07-29T19:53:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:24:31.937-07:00Oh. Dear.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I just attempted to drive whilst eating a </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">krispy kreme.</span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><u><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Never again.</span></span></b></u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The juicy jam filling splodged onto the steering wheel; </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">panicking,</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> i began wiping away at the goo which resulted in humiliating random beeping caused by my distressed hand gestures. I resorted to </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">licking</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> it off but then nearly crashed into a parked car. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Desperate not to lose any more deliciousness I stuffed the</span><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> entire </span></u></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">thing into my mouth then cruised through the town looking ridiculous with my hamster pouches. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><u><br />
</u></b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPzP-ojbeDmPv-bBj3t0y7kN1hBx6SYGNeChhzL6pM_gBBZ6wqldEwkee6lU6LTJrhYhjBYPDbHr_C4nEVUaCEVamMWIpZV-NT2s70rEARKs4Xdt4nmnOr6cSh5YjUk0WyXAuslgSKtpYD/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPzP-ojbeDmPv-bBj3t0y7kN1hBx6SYGNeChhzL6pM_gBBZ6wqldEwkee6lU6LTJrhYhjBYPDbHr_C4nEVUaCEVamMWIpZV-NT2s70rEARKs4Xdt4nmnOr6cSh5YjUk0WyXAuslgSKtpYD/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><u>fml.</u></b></span></span></div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-1076517962495114302011-07-24T15:24:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:26:11.515-07:00life lesson no.1<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Note to self: In future, never place yourself on a spindly, make-shift-looking rope swing that sits delicately above a puddle of water, </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">especially </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">when alone. You are too heavy. Your arse is obviously going to drop right into the water. And now you have to walk home alone looking like you've wet yourself. Marvellous.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane. xxx</span></span></span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-91369925732606469162011-07-24T13:55:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:29:29.246-07:00spottybotty.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioL8T8AyBXmwvwL_YzoU9Xc23RT_hm4r2ennn4qUCVItuBu1uREX-yxy6TKwN2hOKbvDGRrhRjtQjUrcWkWQy-2U-GDC0wqWc7DILwiMfxndI8QUWyRqomiWcpZYwSGegPEQIGKm4aXbSJ/s1600/Bottom-on-Bike-431x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioL8T8AyBXmwvwL_YzoU9Xc23RT_hm4r2ennn4qUCVItuBu1uREX-yxy6TKwN2hOKbvDGRrhRjtQjUrcWkWQy-2U-GDC0wqWc7DILwiMfxndI8QUWyRqomiWcpZYwSGegPEQIGKm4aXbSJ/s200/Bottom-on-Bike-431x300.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Imagine the situation:</span></b></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">You are in a luggage container. Indian men </span><i><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">galore</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">. You are wearing hideous trousers that have become too large (</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">one too many curries</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">). You have the </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">milkiest</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> coloured botty. And, you have the </span><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">spottiest</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> rash all over both your left and right cheek. </span></span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span></b><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Comprennez-vous?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Now,</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> IMAGINE</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">leaving</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> the luggage container to buy a Sprite. Now, hear a shrill from your friend in the background as you walk away from the container, </span><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">thinking</span></u></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> you are holding up your trousers. You hear the words...'THONG!!!!'</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Now, IMAGINE realising you had just exposed your milky white, spotty botty to an </span><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">ENTIRE</span></u></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> luggage container FULL of Indian perverts and a platform of strangers.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I need not imagine. Twas <b>pretty </b>grim.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane. xxx</span></span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-47420040509901024872011-07-24T13:40:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:29:03.929-07:00(needs no title)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I was asked by a 26 year old </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">MALE</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Indian virgin what it felt like </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">'to have someone inside you'.</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I was, quite literally, rendered speechless. An absolute first.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane. xxx</span></span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-34855991532952133602011-07-24T13:24:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:28:50.128-07:00'i practically grew a pair of testicles'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-dV4uP_mqS7oy2F7sarGtBPfk6OCxvOTIUusa9brz2fi3hySNhPFA41ZWVgOIXqg44IWYIhFquuD6-GJKBitjHAMaOpY6Zr5OccDqKsI8DUgDE4dicDv3ikpN8P51tXmONvku0w7DpK0w/s1600/LAD+RED+SMALL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-dV4uP_mqS7oy2F7sarGtBPfk6OCxvOTIUusa9brz2fi3hySNhPFA41ZWVgOIXqg44IWYIhFquuD6-GJKBitjHAMaOpY6Zr5OccDqKsI8DUgDE4dicDv3ikpN8P51tXmONvku0w7DpK0w/s320/LAD+RED+SMALL.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>'<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">How so?</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">' I hear you ask. Well... for some time, I have wanted a be able to say 'yes, moi, je suis une </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">L.A.D</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">', only momentarily, you know? For a couple of seconds I wanted so desperately to believe I had 'manned up' and done something </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">kkkkrezy</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">, lived on </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">the edge</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">, gone </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">wwwwilld</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> and basically, all that's associated with being naughty.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So, when I jumped onto the luggage container of an Indian train, I thought that the next 14 hours would be pain free and I would be able to say to my friends that I had truly </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">slummed </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">it and been a </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">massive lad</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">. Alas, this was not to be.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Instead, it seems that </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">most </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Indians are fascinated by (</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">breasts) </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">white skin, (</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">breasts) </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">girls and (</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">breasts) </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">eyes. Never have I ever had so many mobiles </span><i><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">THRUST</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> in my face, or been mentally undressed for 14 hours (</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">at least, I don't think so). </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My travelling companion and I realised that sleeping was far from the agenda when she felt a pair of hands (</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">not her own)</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> on her breasts, and I had to use my LonelyPlanetIndia guide to protect my vagina. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Bliss</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I also ended up in an opium den in a rather innocent fashion. The hardest drug I have ever really had for </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">shiggles</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> is....</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Calpol, </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">so I wasn't totally </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">'up'</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> for this new experience. But, how was I supposed to know it was an opium den? The three 25 stone cows guarding the outside of the den did not suggest foul play at all. Even though they were standing in the brick, shabby hall of a house.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The intoxicated gentlemen who led us there was probably a litttttle bit suspect. Ah. All part of life's colourful tapestry... i think.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane. xxx</span></span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-44035083340918228412011-07-24T12:49:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:28:34.755-07:00god gave women.....breasts.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuOwduS_hF9NLqs7pyW9q5rH9FSGclhAH2p46LNmqRdX8B03WuXsyIQTKE0_dduFJxjH5xWVyaxVj1JAkp9fgkNDhUUG1TS6uIpzmjQd_NhRhzpIw2gK7g4mhi5_L356Kpaj86Yluqzo6o/s1600/DSC00657.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuOwduS_hF9NLqs7pyW9q5rH9FSGclhAH2p46LNmqRdX8B03WuXsyIQTKE0_dduFJxjH5xWVyaxVj1JAkp9fgkNDhUUG1TS6uIpzmjQd_NhRhzpIw2gK7g4mhi5_L356Kpaj86Yluqzo6o/s320/DSC00657.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I ventured forth into Nepal for some </span><i><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">culture emersion. </span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I felt I had reached that point in my life where I needed to </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">appreciate</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> the world around me.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Error.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">By </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">day 2</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">, I had been informed by a (</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">bitter) </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">buddhist guide that I had '</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">nice'</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> and jiggled his chest. For some </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">bizarre </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">reason, I thought he said </span><b><u><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">'eyes'</span></i></u></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> and thanked him before it suddenly </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">dawned </span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">on me that he was in fact referring to my mammary glands, my bust...basically, my </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">knockers</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Bastard. </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">But, compared to actually having one of my 'knockers' </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">GRABBED </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">by an Indian as I waited in Delhi traffic only two weeks later, that buddha situation has faded into great insignificance. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The pilgrim city of Varanasi was a </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">honey pot</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">, a HONEY POT I tell you, of randy pilgrims all semi naked with only an orange loin cloth '</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">protecting' </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">their manhoods. Whilst having a deep chat about pilgrims and religion with a skinny, loin-clothed (i'm going to say naked) pilgrim, I couldn't help but feel he was staring at my breasts the </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">ENTIRE </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">time. Talks about Gandhi whilst anticipating a pilgrim erection: </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">slightly </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">uncomfortable.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Ah. The joys of life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane. xxx</span></span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-8154798905793440162011-07-24T12:21:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:28:16.308-07:00good morning... (naked) stranger!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjMZa5_kaVjAuMMXLlXxt-LnKh7oZbT2kqKoOjW-KM1BFGvhQ7khvHNNquAMmubnibv5V_FOKnikeiHfc_P-TfifaI_THUe_arrSv92EYJAG-roFt9nNuCZ9ynv0_xhYssGM7UyyPLgwu1/s1600/cartoon.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjMZa5_kaVjAuMMXLlXxt-LnKh7oZbT2kqKoOjW-KM1BFGvhQ7khvHNNquAMmubnibv5V_FOKnikeiHfc_P-TfifaI_THUe_arrSv92EYJAG-roFt9nNuCZ9ynv0_xhYssGM7UyyPLgwu1/s1600/cartoon.gif" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So, I got the email. And the outcome? My </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">beautiful</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> friend lasted 45 minutes in the wonderful Klute a couple of nights ago, before being utterly </span><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">seduced</span></u></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> by a strapping Rugby player (we've all been there...haven't we?) A night of drunken passion resulted in an 'eurgh, did i really?'-esque expression when faced with the reality of his face at 8am the next morning. He soon left the vicinity of her bedroom, naked, picked up his jeans, grunted his way in to the kitchen, then into the room of a startled housemate, then FINALLY, the door. Still naked. I think I found this so amusing; do you think he realised he was naked as he passed people on the road at 8am? I'm hoping he was like the Emperor from that tale, </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The Emperor's New Clothes. </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Fucker. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane xxx</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-68858116830411343172011-06-20T13:19:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:27:59.112-07:00'All women need great dads.'<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09H-JxTMKro&feature=player_embedded"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Dad. </span></a></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I don't even know what to say, except: Dad you are now the SECOND most embarrassing father in the world. Much Love.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane xxx</span></span>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-15055192666282726582011-06-18T11:04:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:27:37.033-07:00i ♥ tigers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJF_Z5SBCGNfZNMnPIKm2JHOQn0mgVm5H60z8qIaYydiTGsyZT8N32GnsyKmu5bXGhDQfDrr4NWHwi9PIpV6ccdFR31MY2mafWdQBBsph3Kjak0qEGsjgbh8C4GozEzhDa7xww1uLK7f3R/s1600/IMG_0392.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJF_Z5SBCGNfZNMnPIKm2JHOQn0mgVm5H60z8qIaYydiTGsyZT8N32GnsyKmu5bXGhDQfDrr4NWHwi9PIpV6ccdFR31MY2mafWdQBBsph3Kjak0qEGsjgbh8C4GozEzhDa7xww1uLK7f3R/s200/IMG_0392.JPG" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCpyfOnI-XvhehlsL6gUFGrZFIWn4rMCCdN-aWc1Qd6fFLsfAoNRwGqPhbDBDIN6cGalRb_EEkSCe1Rm0hea4VFSRxr0ohhUzEWFN4mm7_vMNu_OtqFn060VV0SSB4fXjem-WN_Wm5UpDU/s1600/IMG_0393.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCpyfOnI-XvhehlsL6gUFGrZFIWn4rMCCdN-aWc1Qd6fFLsfAoNRwGqPhbDBDIN6cGalRb_EEkSCe1Rm0hea4VFSRxr0ohhUzEWFN4mm7_vMNu_OtqFn060VV0SSB4fXjem-WN_Wm5UpDU/s200/IMG_0393.JPG" width="200" /></a></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">One of my wonderful friends is a Norwegian crazy called Tiger Lily. She is as crazy as her name suggests. She is one of my collected eccentrics AND she deserves a post because, </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">because, </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">life is definitely more fun/crazy/random when she is around. Everyone needs a naughty Norwegian in their lives, this is a</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> fact. </span></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">(ask my auntie)</span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane xx</span></span></div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-78563903227125150072011-06-17T19:18:00.000-07:002011-09-14T07:27:06.727-07:00exams versus reality versus klute<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZS6kHEutm37X7NLf_GsCVVMa4mW8oZSMROh2WMNsrDegAfzOenygbc0bXyT4E2Fre51n0MlWfSIBu9uTf2gl62m6i078zqEVnOAYkOPieDQUYUBJ_RitEAP0ECQ4DPLx9PlCdgG0je7YB/s1600/50415_8382518601_4841201_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZS6kHEutm37X7NLf_GsCVVMa4mW8oZSMROh2WMNsrDegAfzOenygbc0bXyT4E2Fre51n0MlWfSIBu9uTf2gl62m6i078zqEVnOAYkOPieDQUYUBJ_RitEAP0ECQ4DPLx9PlCdgG0je7YB/s200/50415_8382518601_4841201_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Exams mean we recluse (</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">t</span></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">o recluse</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">: to hide away from communication, people, general human beings and resort to the comfort of books and revision guides</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">). I personally </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">HATE</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> this period of my life (who the fuck loves it?), where I live in my Dad’s Mad Dog joggers and jumpers that have seen better days and </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">definitely</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> smelt a lot juicier. I even resorted to deactivating good old faceyb. This,</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> I must say</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">, was the best idea I have had since I decided that wearing a onesie on a night out would be liberating (</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">it was)</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">. But, it’s the time after exams that I find almost </span><u><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">equally </span></b></i></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">disturbing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Why?</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Because, after 8 weeks of </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">reclusing-it-up</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">, suddenly, I am thrown back into the realm of society and face the ordeal of many an awkward situation, or an immediate,</span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">cringe </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">moment. I planned random events for almost immediately after my exams, and since my last (</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">ordeal of an)</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> exam, I have </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">NOT</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> STOPPED. The most exciting/traumatic part of the week so far, definitely has to have been the moment where I realized I couldn’t </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">blag</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> my way into India in true Irish-like-my-dad fashion, and that I needed a VISA… in a matter of days. Brilliant. MASSIVE </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">COCK-UP. </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">But, HAY. Shit can sometimes hit fan, but in the words of </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Bob Marley,</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> ‘everything gonna be alright’. And, I will be off to India as soon as I can, no matter how postponed it may be. Visa. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Will.</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Arrive. Visa. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Will.</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Arrive. Visa. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Will.</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Arrive. </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Pray for me, yeah?</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> I’m not religious, but moments of selfishness and insanity take over when I feel like the help of some sort of God would be </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">greatly</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> appreciated. I say the </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Hail Mary</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> when I take off on a plane. Then say 'fucking hell' as soon as I spill the drink down my leg half way through the flight. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I am a 21</span></b><sup><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">st</span></b></sup><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> century hypocrite.</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> An evening of Bridget with my besties and a fabulous rendez vous with my favourite Tiger are the highlights of my week. In the famous words of the beautiful Bridget Jones, ‘</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">what a gripping life I do lead</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">’. Preparing at home for summer means I can’t help but wonder what drama is ensuing oop-norf. The student town of Duzza holds what should be described as one of the Seven Wonders of the World:</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Klute</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">. Smirfs, onesie-clad-orange people and Hitler-like dressed students have graced the floors of this hidden gem. A honeypot of</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> sordid tales</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> and saucy (</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">naked</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">) truths, it has been the base of many of my friends’ escapades, escapades that cause eyebrows to raise </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">incredibly</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> high. These shenanigans range from </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">lesbian lunges</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> in return for free drinks, to ‘</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">accidentally</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">’ spilling a quady-voddy over someone, to pretending that it’s ‘</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">oh-ma-gad so crammed</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">’ that you are forced to dance </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">‘on’ </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">someone cause space is limited. Basically, in Klute…anything goes. I can only guarantee that stories in the next post will be outrageous. And, I can't wait to post it. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Last three songs to come up on my shuffle:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Chase & Status : </span></span></u><i><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">End Credits</span></span></u></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Joni Mitchell: </span></span></u><i><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">A Case of You</span></span></u></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Cee Lo Green: </span></span></u><i><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I want You</span></span></u></i><br />
<i><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </span></u></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Needless to say, at 3:16 am, babysat-ed-out and indian visa-ed-out, I am feeling </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">rather random.</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Although, both Cee Lo and Chase have got me </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">excited </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">for Summer. Joni has just made me happy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span> </i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane xx</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"></span></div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4005992236817761339.post-6876805301523501312011-06-17T10:27:00.003-07:002011-09-14T16:46:41.424-07:00Losing the cheeky blogging 'V'.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Why...Hello. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome fellow fiends, amigos, brothers, homies...HI.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Ok ok, before you jump to the conclusion that because I'm a blogger, I'm definitely a dick head because (</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">deep breath) </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you think blogging is for dick heads... I want to be <b><u>TOTALLY </u></b></span><i><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">HONEST</span></b></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> with you: I <b><u>am</u></b> a dick head<b>.</b> Wow. I said that word THREE times. Swearing in the first blog? BAD. But, it needs to be said. I am okay with a lack of appreciation/an abundance of appreciation. This blog is merely a means of recording my life for my own entertainment (ok, and also entertaining a <b><i>couple </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">of people)</span></b>; even if I cringe and cry at the situations I land myself in, I think that I will definitely appreciate my stories when I'm old and </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">sleepy </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">and a, let's face it.... a bit boring. Everything I share is based on my own life, but I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>have, have, hav</b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>e</b></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> to share stories of some of my friends' crazy moments too, because they're just <b>too</b> priceless to <u>ever</u> forget. My home and my university accommodates a <b><u>WHOLE LOTTA CRAZY.</u></b> It would be selfish to not share some of the tales.... APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE to my </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>ANONYMOUS</b></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> victims. </span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">If you're lucky, you'll get a bit of music, or perhaps a photo thrown into a post. Just cause I'm probably feeling generous and lovely that day. </span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So, losing the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">cheeky blogging V</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">: kind of a big deal. </span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Yours, Penny Lane xx</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br />
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</span></i></div>Penny Lanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12634463978578823611noreply@blogger.com0